Carla Southwell shed tears of joy when she saw her 8-month-old son for the first time since she was jailed almost seven weeks ago for hiding her two daughters from her ex-husband. The tears of joy turned to tears of anguish moments later. ``He didn't even remember me,'' she said, sobbing. The 26-year-old Kent City woman alleges her ex-husband, William Southwell, sexually abused the girls, ages 4 and 5, during unsupervised visits. Southwell, 30, has denied the charges, saying the girls were manipulated by their mother. An ongoing investigation has turned up no evidence that he abused the girls. On Sept. 7, Ms. Southwell was jailed for contempt of court and ordered held until the girls are surrendered. Her fiance, Kelly Erhart, and relatives are caring for the Ms. Southwell's son, fathered by Erhart, who is not part of the court order. In a telephone interview Monday from the Kent County Jail, Ms. Southwell said she shares a cell with 10 to 20 other women, including one facing a murder trial. She said she has had to fight off one attack. ``I do a lot of writing letters, reading, praying,'' Ms. Southwell said. ``And thinking.'' In a videotape shown at a hearing last month, the couple's daughters indicated they had been abused. Ms. Southwell said she has not been in contact with her daughters, but is confident they are safe and healthy. ``I think about them constantly,'' she said, choking back tears. ``This is the worst thing that a loving mother could ever have to go through.'' Before making a decision on custody, Circuit Judge George Buth said he wants the children to be evaluated by the county Department of Protective Services. Otherwise, he said, he fears Ms. Southwell may run away with the girls. ``The children are a battleground in this case,'' Buth said Friday. ``They're the ones suffering.'' Buth said he is concerned that Ms. Southwell made the allegations against her ex-husband during a custody evaluation that was in the father's favor. ``I can't say I've made up my mind whether sexual abuse has occurred,'' said Southwell, also of Kent City. ``If Carla's so sure I sexually abused them, why doesn't she give them up to protective services like the judge ordered so professionals can make a decision? I think my kids' lives need to be straightened out and Carla's not doing that.'' Ms. Southwell, who has had temporary custody of the children, alleges the agency did a poor job in investigating her previous allegations and she said they lack concern for the children. Southwell said custody was recommended for him because his ex-wife denied him access to the children. ``This is the fifth time I've gone over two months without seeing them because Carla wouldn't let me,'' he said. Though a physician testified at a custody hearing that one of the girls had injuries typical of sexual abuse, an investigator with the Sheriff's Department said there was no evidence to prove Southwell was guilty. ``I believe that in her own heart and mind she believes this, but we can't prove that it happened,'' Sgt. Ken Kleinheksel said. ``All we got was a very confused statement from a child.'' Ms. Southwell said she will stay behind bars until she is assured her ex-husband will not have contact with their daughters. ``It's very difficult to accept the fact that I can't see my daughters, but I'll hang on and I'll fight to the last day,'' she said.
